#torn between wanting him to suffer and make him a happy lil guy

[hmsdoodlin]

(48) I want to draw him being devious and like a neurotic shaking beast but I can’t help myself. He’s so silly to me I’m picking him up and prancing around.

[loth-wolffe]

Make a Wish

Pairings: none. a lil bit of captain rex x reader if you squint.

Summary: the torrent company prepares something for your birthday<3

Word count: 1,4k not proofread

A/n: So!!! i know I've been dead for the past week, but today's my sweetiepie ana @leia-saveourskins birthday!!!! and she asked me to write a little something for her so I came back from hell bc i can't really say no to mi bb ana. congrats bubs!! i hope you have the most amazing day today and always. hope you like this heheh<3 tqm mucho. mwah mwah mwah

Rex had called you to the hangar, something about Anakin needing some help with something, his words rushed as if he didn't have time and you felt confused, it wasn't like there weren't any more mechanics working at the time, and the General had given you half day off, "as a birthday present," he had told you, after a little hug and a congratulations.

You rushed your steps, hair still slightly wet from the shower you took before and the thought of getting more engine oil on you made you roll your eyes.

This better be good.

Once you got to the hangar door, you found it was closed, frowning, you commed Rex.

"The door is closed."

You hear him coughing, a few murmurs are heard and you never felt more confused in your life, what was going on.

"Yeah, sorry." He mumbled, "Ahsoka locked it by, uh, accident." Rex sounded nervous, and for some reason it made your heart beat faster. Did something happen? If it required for the General, Commander and Captain to be in the room, it must be important, but then again, there's no power in this galaxy that could ever torn them apart.

"Its open now."

It's not long before the door opens before you, and as soon as you step into the room, a chant of "surprise!" is heard, keeping you in place as your brain processes the image before you, tears filling your eyes as soon as it settles in your heart.

Everyone is there, your fellow mechanics, Anakin, Ahsoka, the troopers you had become friends with, even the General of the 212th was there, with big smiles on their faces, a big sign with messy letters in aurebesh that read Happy Birthday colored with the 501st blue hung between two ships, it was almost falling off, but the thought warmed your soul. The "ay" looked incredibly smaller as they run out of space compared to the wide H at the beginning, they all had different styles, and you wondered if they agreed to write one letter per person.

"I–" you started, but words didn't come out, you were left speechless, many emotions running through your mind and your heart that you couldn't pick one to express what you felt.

"Thank you," you whisper, blinking quickly in hopes for the tears to disappear, but they don't, much less when Ahsoka comes for you and holds your hand, leading you towards everyone.

"Ah! it's nothing, the boys insisted we should celebrate." She told you, the mischievous smile she wore told you she was to blame.

"The boys? Snips you couldn't shut up about the surprise party for a week." Anakin said, walking towards you before enveloping in a warm hug, one that lasted longer than the one he gave you a few hours prior. "Happy birthday," he murmured softly in your ear, and you smiled widely.

Anakin hasn't been nothing but nice since you joined the Resolute, times spent at the hangar fixing whatever ship he completely destroyed in his perfect landings, and you were completely past knowing him solely as The General and more as Anakin.

"Thanks, boss."

He chuckled, ruffling your hair before Ahsoka pushed him away.

"Hey, we all want our hugs gramps," she said as she gave you the tightest of hugs, laughing quietly when you hear Anakin huff in annoyance. "Hope we have you many many more years with us."

It took you a while, to be congratulated by everyone, Obi Wan being the first right after Ahsoka, Rex lingering a bit more than most, his cheeks a sweet shade of pink as he stumbles over his words.

"I uh," he scratches the nape of his neck, aware of the line of clones behind him waiting to hug you, "I, I know this isn't much but," his eyes look down to his feet before meeting your eyes, golden eyes filled with nothing but affection, his fingers fumble awkwardly with his belt as he tries to take something from one of the many bags. "I got you this."

He gives you a little bouquet of flowers of your favorite color, already placed in a cup with water to keep them from dying.

"Rex you–" for the second time in the past hour, tears fill your eyes, a lump in your throat makes it hard for the words to be pushed past your lips, "you didn't have to."

"I wanted to." He frowns slightly, looking at the little box in your hands, "like i said, it's not much, but–"

"It's perfect, thank you."

You kiss his cheek, feeling like melting from all the love you're receiving, but mostly because how even now, in the middle of war, between so much death and suffering, they still find a moment to celebrate life, to still be kind, to be thoughtful and caring.

The tips of his ears turn red, and you giggle softly before thanking him again, he nods as he moves for the next person to give you his best wishes, a few give you little kisses on your cheeks, and others give you stiff hugs that made you chuckle.

Jesse is the last one to hug you, along with Hardcase and Fives.

"Happy birthday to not only the best mechanic in the GAR, but to our best friend as well." Jesse says before giving you a bone crushing hug, a loud, breathless laugh leaving your lips as he leaves a very wet kiss on your cheek.

Hardcase doesn't wait for Jesse to leave before he's hugging you too.

"Happy birthday!"

And it's not long before you have all the boys crushing you in the biggest bear hug you've ever had, feeling a bit claustrophobic for a moment but that doesn't stop you from enjoying the moment, your heart swelling with love.

When they all pull away to let you breath, Fives places a hand over your shoulders, walking you towards the Generals and the Commander waited for you.

"We got another surprise for you!"

"Oh really?" You ask, looking at Echo when he places himself on your other side, throwing his arm over your shoulders as well and walking in sync with you and Fives.

"Fives really insisted on it."

You hum, confused once more, but as soon as you meet with the others, you find what they were talking about.

There's a big cake being held by two astromechs, the white frosting perfectly placed under the blue letters that held your name right on the middle, sprinkles of at least eight different colors, one of the corners had way too much yellow and there was a tiny smiley face on another.

"There's no birthday if there's no cake." Fives stated, and everyone agreed.

"We made it, so we're not completely sure if it's good," Tup sheepishly admitted, and you almost melted at the thought.

They were too sweet, incredibly so that your heart couldn't take it.

"Thank you guys, I'm sure it's amazing."

"Oh! you cannot cut it without blowing the candle," Obi Wan spoke, patting his clothes trying to find the candle Anakin made sure he didn't forget.

He placed it on the when he found it, giving you a dashing smile and a wink once he did. R2 was quick to lit it up.

The boys made sure to be loud when singing the happy birthday song, Hardcase and Jesse making their voices as low and loud as they could, making Dogma roll his eyes and Fives laugh for most of the song.

Tears left your eyes a few times, overwhelmed with the affection they all had for you, your cheeks hurting with how wide you were smiling.

"What did you wish for?" Fives asked you at some point, to which you shook your head as you took another bite of cake that –to everyone's surprise,– it was actually good.

"Can't tell you."

"Why not?"

"Some say that if you say your wish, it won't happen." He scoffs.

"Sounds like bullshit." You laugh loudly, which makes Fives' face break into a smile.

You don't tell him, though, that you didn't wish for anything. Not really, for everything you wanted was right there, with you, the feeling of home, of warmth. Knowing you belonged somewhere, in a family you found all by yourself, surrounded with joy, and love.

They made sure it was your best birthday ever.

[banesbottombitch]

Damn “Henry gets a haircut” got angostura at the end my man would you be up to do a part 2? Even if you don’t I still think it was pretty dang good👌🏼

I didn’t know I needed a part 2 until I started writing it. This went from platonic to vaguely romantic, and if you think I’m sorry, you be WRONG. Feel free to request part 3, if y’all want it.

Word count: +3,300

Warnings: Dank Kush, Alcohol, Vic gets wasted, Grabby Grant, ends up being a lil Patrick/Reader because of COURSE IT DOES. She/Her Reader.

Related: Henry Gets a Haircut

In theory, it would have been a beautiful thing. Your best friends, all happy and dating the girls (or boys, who were you to judge), and you, dating some cutie with a niche for giving you soft kisses and who would whisper sweet nothings in your ear.

The reality, however, was anything but happy.

Vic still stood strong in his fight to keep the girls at bay, happy to sit alone in his own company and watch the others flaunt their arm candy. Henry and Patrick flew to the chance to snag a girl, and within a week since your earth shattering revelation was made, they had each gotten someone. Belch took a little longer, but was starting to warm up to a nice girl from your chem class.

But you?

Well you were in solidarity with Vic, sitting next to him on a wrinkled leather couch at a house party and left to watch your other friends suck face and leave no room for jesus as they danced and grinded to a slow beat of some catchy song, the flow erotic and hip sounding as it crackled through abused speakers.

You rolled your head to face Vic, who played with a fake septum he had slipped in before you and the others picked him up for the party.

“So what’s your excuse? Why don’t you have a girl tonight?” You offered in conversation, holding the jackets of Patrick and Henry to your lap. Your painted and manicured nails picked at the studs stitched into the shoulders of Patrick’s leather jacket, scrunching your nose up in distaste as you caught a flash of Henry macking hardcore with the familiar face of Carly Henderson, who was the host of the house party and the boys current main squeeze.

“Hm?” Vic said, blinking slowly, still feeling a nice high from the joint Henry had offered the group before entering the party. He smiled slowly, following your eyes. “Oh. Jealous?”

“Not like that.” You sighed, running your fingers over the divots and leather of Patrick’s jacket, trying to distract yourself. “Just in general. Everyone else is getting lucky and I’m kinda just…”

“Stuck with me on a couch?” Vic rose an eyebrow, and you gave him a frown.

“I don’t mean it as a bad thing. But yeah. I’m here on the couch, they’re going to get lucky and I’m going to suffer in the lonely loneliness of being a loner loser.”

The blond squinted, processing your words at a snail’s pace. “Dude, chill. You’ll get a guy.”

“No,” You muttered, eyes rolling to the ceiling as you scooched closer to Vic. “I’m going to finish senior year without a single date. Watch it happen, Victor. Mark my words.”

With that, Vic pushed himself up, the couch rustling in protest as he rose. “I’m getting you a fuckin’ drink.”

“Rum!” You called after him. “Lots of chaser! Wait, are you even good to wander off-”

He bobbed and weaved through the crowd, your words lost on him. You sat there for a while, song after song playing before you swore under the beat of the music, and stood, throwing on Patrick’s jacket and folding Henry’s over your arm. Vic was a ditz when high, a literal air head. He wouldn’t be returning to the couch for another hour, and even then, you were sure he’d have forgotten about the alcohol before then.

Fiddling around in the pockets of Patrick’s jacket, you pulled a few artifacts out. In your hand was tangled ball of a necklace long forgotten in his pockets, a couple loose pills that you weren’t sure if they were party drugs or his actual medication, his grim reaper lighter, and his pack of clove cigarettes.

“Bless you, you dumbass.” You praised his forgetfulness, in desperate need of a smoke to escape your own thoughts.

Stuffing everything but the lighter and the cigarettes away, you slipped into the crowd, heading for an exit. You side stepped couples and drunken teens, ignoring grunts of protests when you forced people out of the way when they covered doorways, and finally made it to the kitchen. Vic was nowhere to be found, and seeing it was the only place where alcohol was stored, you figured your hunch about him forgetting to grab the drinks was true. Snagging a loose bottle of rum off the counter, you chucked the cigarettes in another pocket of the jacket, fixing yourself a quick drink with the white rum left to sit at the bottom of the plastic bottle and forgotten orange juice resting in a pitcher on the counter.

Sipping it and satisfied with the ratio, you left the kitchen in time to avoid a pack of wasted jocks, who stampeded the beer keg as you flew out the back door, ready to drink and smoke on the back porch.

There were a few stragglers outside, mostly the more alternative kids and a few stoners. Everyone was evenly spread out, a few clustered around the pool and making small talk. Awkwardly, and with some difficulty given the jacket you carried and the drink in hand, you made an effort to wave to a few people.

They either returned the gesture, or completely ignored you and left you to your own devices. It was pretty warm outside, but you kept the jacket on nonetheless, Henry’s draped over your arm as you leaned against a post and rested your drink on the banister, pulling out the cigarettes and lighter before putting one between your lips.

The lighter took a second to catch, low on fluid, but you were able to light a glorious death stick in a moment, and took a long and well deserved drag.

You exhaled thick wisps of too-sweet smoke, enjoying the taste of the clove cigarettes nonetheless. Patrick used to smoke menthols, while everyone else usually smoke marlboros and called his taste in smokes nasty, but you had always been more than happy to share a cigarette with the lanky boy. Plus, he always had extras from no one sharking off him, so it was like you two split a pack anyhow.

“Hey.”

You turned, lifting your drink to your lips and taking a swig. Your eyes raked the boy in front of you up and down, not affected or impressed with him by much. He had to have been from another school, because you had never seen him before. With his box-dyed black hair, medusa piercing and nose ring, he looked like he would be a residential ‘edgy boy’ of a primarily preppy community. The studded jacket, similar to Patrick’s you thought with amusement, and torn up shirt only made your assumption grow, as did the dirty combat boots he wore and the arrangement of ear piercings that glinted under the soft outside lighting.

“Hi.” You nodded, putting your drink back down and taking another puff of your smoke. You watched him, judged him, and wondered what his next move would be.

“Never seen you around.” He started casually, tilting his head back, dark eyes giving you a once over before he pulled his lips into a smirk.

You decided very quickly that you didn’t like that smirk.

“I’m around.” You breathed smoke in his direction, watching as he didn’t flinch away, but moved closer.

Flicking ash from your cigarette, you straighten up from the post, wary of how closely he advanced.

“What’s your name?” He asked, voice thick, a little husky. “Name’s Grant.”

“Ain’t that a cute name?” You sidestepped him, drink left forgotten as you pressed the cigarette back to you lips. “Name’s [Last Name].”

“[Last Name]? Nah, gimmie your first name, sweetheart.” Grant breathed, making the mistake of reaching out and brushing a lock of hair behind your ear.

You spit smoke, like an enraged dragon, and caught his hand. “Don’t. You wanna be friendly? Try someone else. I’m not in the mood.”

“Aren’t you?” He flicked his tongue over his bottom lip, wetting it as his eyes danced. “You’re all alone, drinking by yourself? At a party? Don’t you want company, baby?”

He curled his other hand closer, making an advance on your waist. His fingertips brushed your stomach, and you felt a jolt of both disgust and immediate fear from the gesture.

“Dude.” You gave a last warning, throwing his wrist away from you and jumping back. “Drop it, I fucking mean it.”

Retreating, an act that in it of itself you despised, you went back inside, dropping your cigarette in a forgotten soda can and hurrying to leave the kitchen. It sizzled loudly, the music and the sound of advancing footsteps following you as you rounded the kitchen and waded through the dining room. You felt his eyes on you as you weaved between your fellow classmates, eyes searching heads to find one of the boys.

You spotted Vic first, who danced in between two girls with a glaze to his eyes, but that all dropped when you snatched his shoulder and jerked him away.

“Whoa-” He steadied himself on you, and you were surprised to smell the reek of alcohol on his breath.

“Seriously? How the hell are you drunk, you’ve been gone all but fifteen minutes.”

Wobbly, but with a grin, he answered. “Shots, man. They’re doing them in the dining room. I had… this many…”

He held up both hands, eight fingers raised.

“Wait.” He held the last two up. “This many. And one more, but it was like, half of someones rum and coke so it doesn’t count-”

You groaned, glancing behind you and catching the swift gaze of Creepy Grant, his eyes glinting with thinly veiled mischief.

“Great, you’re tipsy right now but all that shit is gonna hit you in like ten minutes. Congrats on getting shit faced.” You pulled him from his dancing companions, who whined after your retreating forms.

“Wooo!” Vic slurred, leaning heavily on you as you parted the crowd, using him as a weight to barrel through people.

It didn’t take long to reach Henry, who you happily grabbed by the elbow and jerked from a passionate embrace.

“The fuck-” Henry raised a fist, ready to throw hands with some punk, but found you and a soon to be wasted Vic on your arm. “What.”

“He drank a lot. There’s some creepy guy following me. Fix that mess while I take him to the restroom, he drank ten shots and half a rum and coke, apparently. I see chunks in our future.”

Giggling, Vic enveloped you in a hug, nuzzling your head with his own.

“You’re so fuckin’ sweet, Princess.” He drawled, holding you to him.

“Very near future.” You pressed, mouth forming a thin line as your eyes sought Henry. “Seriously man, help a little here.”

Carly Henderson fixed her hair, peering over the crowd in search of this mystery stalker. They landed on someone, and she registered a look of familiarity. “Grabby Grant?”

“Oh my god that’s so much better than what I named him, but yeah.” You allowed Vic to curl into your neck, his breath tickling your throat.

Henry’s eyes sifted through the faces as well, stopping and pointing to someone. “That guy?”

You glanced in the direction he pointed, finding him to have picked Grant out of a crowd expertly. “Yep. He tried to touch me and when I told him to fuck off he kept coming. I bailed, and now here we are.”

You watched Henry’s eyes narrow, lip curling at your words. He straightened himself, eyes never leaving the crowd.

“Go, get Vic to a bathroom before he spews, and one of us i’ll find you guys.” Henry left then, snatching his jacket and throwing it on, wading through the crowd with a vicious look.

Carly sighed, scratching her temple with a frown before she set on you with a clearly irritated glare.

“Surprised you fought him off. He seems like your type.”

Carly ran a manicured hand through her long ebony locks, storming away and leaving you both confused and with flushed cheeks.

“What a bitch.” Vic huffed, and immediately swung you in time with himself, humming along to the lyrics of the song. He wanted to dance, but you had other plans, and as you tossed aside your muddled emotions, you dragged him away from the crowds, hauling his sloppy ass up the stairs as he sang along to the lyrics of some Lil Peep song.

“I can make you rich, I can make you rich,” He drawled, in tune despite his drunkenness. The alcohol was hitting him hardcore now, that much was obvious. “I can make you this…”

He droned on and on, attracting a few looks, but you ignored them as you brought him to the master bathroom, which was blessedly devoid of others. Then again, Carly had made it clear that no one was supposed to go into the master, but she wasn’t exactly in your good graces, so who were you to listen in the heat of the moment?

So the master bathroom is where Patrick found the two of you, Vic emptying the contents of his stomach into the toilet while you sat beside him and rubbed his back. You made the effort to wet a washcloth earlier, hoping it would soothe the heat he was emitting from his sticky skin.

“What the fuck happened to him?” Patrick gestured vaguely to the poor boy, and you noticed the forest of hickeys on his pale neck. Smeared lipstick could be found there too, but you forced yourself not to care, returning your attention back to Vic.

“This dumbass drank like ten shots and had half a coke and rum.”

Patrick couldn’t help the little snicker that your words brought, but he bent down, patting between Vic’s shoulder blades and offering a remorseful smirk.

“You’re gonna be death tomorrow, kiddo.”

“Fuck you.” Vic rasped, flushing the toilet before unloading another wave of vomit into the once pearly white bowl.

Patrick practically cackled, straightening and nodding at you. “Jacket.”

You pulled it off, handing it over and running a comforting hand through Vic’s blond locks. They had stuck to his forehead from sweat, but you applied a damp and cool wash cloth to his forehead and he moaned in thanks.

“Henry dealt with some bitch you complained about, Belch was helping him beat the fucker last time I saw them, I only caught word because Carly came up and complained about Henry ghosting her.” The dark haired boy tugging out his pack of cigarettes, sitting on the edge of the tub and tapping the pack against his palm.

He stuck a smoke between his lips, lighting it on the first try and inhaling deeply. The room filled with the scent of lavender from the handsoap on the counter and the sweet cloves, the smell comforting you some but disgusting Vic.

He leaned heavily against the toilet bowl, rolling to your touch. “I feel like shit.”

“Really? Wouldn’t have guessed.” Patrick said with little consideration, chuckling as smoke escape his mouth.

You took toilet paper, wiping at the blonds mouth and allowing him to rest himself against you. The cloth brushed his cheeks and mouth as you tried to cool him down further, and he gave a quiet sigh of relief.

There was silence, only the muffled and barely there beat of the music from downstairs to be heard between Patrick’s drags and Vic’s exhausted breathing. Finally, Patrick broke it, eyeing the two of you with an unreadable expression.“So. How’s the whole anti-cockblock thing going for you?”

You frowned. “I’m dateless and taking care of my drunk friend at a party. It’s not going great, but it ain’t too bad, I suppose.”

“She was jealous.” Vic confessed, voice thin. “All night, jealous.”

“Oh, do tell.” Patrick smirked, and you felt your nostrils flare in irritation.

“Not like that, just, annoyed. Envious, not jealous. Jealousy is when you’re worried someone will take what you have. Envy is when you want what someone has. I don’t have anyone to take,” You paused, letting lose a soft sigh. “Therefore, envy.”

“Deep.” Patrick offered uselessly. You snorted a laugh, finding humor in that particular moment. Vic curled close against you, closing his eyes and resting his strength.

It wasn’t long before Belch and Henry found you, the latter with bruised knuckles and the former with a concerned expression.

“What’d he do, [First Name]?” Belch came to your side.

“Drank a lot.”

“No, not Vic. I could guess that already, what’d that bastard do?” He waved off Vic’s predicament, crouching down to get to your eye level. “We decked him and roughed him up, told him not to come back, but what did he do?”

“Just… Tried to touch me, he called me gross names and just,” You squirmed. “Made me feel uncomfortable.”

“He was hitting on you?” Patrick clarified, raised an eyebrow, his cigarette long finished. Despite how he worded his question, you heard confusion and a tail end of concern in his tone.

“Did you tell him to stop?” Belch ignored Patrick, easing Vic off you and pulling the blond up.

“Yeah. like twice. He followed me into the party even after I told him to fuck off.” You rised with Vic, and Belch’s expression darkened.

“Lets go, lets get you and Vic home. Tonights been enough of a shit show, don’t need him blowing chunks down the hall.” He led the weak kneed blond out, Patrick following up beside you as you trailed after him and Henry.

The drive home was quiet, and you noticed how Henry’s eyes wandered to you from the rear view mirror. It was odd to see worry there, instead of his natural indifference, and even Patrick was more off than normal. Getting Vic inside was a nightmare, but at least it was agreed on that he would stay with you for the night.

Patrick helped you lug him up the stairs, Henry and Belch left to make awkward small talk with your parents, who were more so relieved to see you home in one piece than bothered that you were out with a bunch of punkass teens.

You lowered Vic onto your bed with Patrick’s grip tight on his arms, taking his vans off and draping a blanket over him.

“Rest up sleeping beauty.” Patrick whispered, earning a clumsy smack on the leg from Vic, who rolled into your fortress of blanket and pillows with a grunt.

You collected a bucket from under the bathroom sink, set it by the bed, and walked Patrick out of your room and to the tops of the stairs.

“I’m exhausted, tell the guy’s I’m going to sleep or whatever. I’ll see you kids tomorrow.” You said, voice strained and the promise of sleep sounding absolutely perfect in that moment.

“Will do…” Patrick turned to go, but hesitated, swiveling to face you. “Next time… Next time someone fucks with you, come to me. It’s not just Henry and Belch with the muscle. I could have done something, and I would have done something, you know that, right?”

You frowned, and reached to brush his arm, hoping he found the gesture comforting. “I know that. I just couldn’t find you, Pat.”

His eyes, bright even in the limited lighting of your second story, searched your own. Finally, he reached out himself, but chose to push a lock of hair behind your ear.

“‘Kay then Princess, sweet dreams.”

Quickly, as if the touch had burned him, he pulled away and headed down the stairs, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jacket.

You watched him go before returning to the bedroom, closing the door softly until it clicked closed, padding to the bed and sitting on the edge Vic had not yet occupied.

You kicked off your shoes, remembering what Carly Henderson had said to you.

“He seems like your type.”

You undressed, throwing a nightshirt on and crawling in bed, Vic finding you through the mess of blankets and pillows, thin arms wrapping tight around you. His breath was sweet with the smell of alcohol, the perfume of your dreams for the night you supposed, but the sounds of his quiet slumbering led to you sleep in what seemed like no time.

You dreamt of Patrick that night.

[hopeishappinessff]

Chapter 36

I sat in the center of the booth at Kona Grill surrounded by family and friends with an artificial smile that I struggled to maintain throughout the entire evening. I wasn’t nearly in the mood to be the center of attention and luckily, everyone seemed to have drifted off into separate conversations leaving me to mope in peace. Chris attempted to spark conversation, but he was the absolute last person I wanted to speak to and I’m sure my demeanor showed it. With the spectacle he’d gotten me caught up in earlier in my driveway, I was determined to brush him off for the duration of dinner. Eventually, he took the hint and quickly diverted his attention to Rashad and Dontay’s conversation. I inconspicuously rolled my eyes the moment he turned around and of course, caught the curious eye of Destani.

“What’s wrong?” She mouthed from the other side of the table. With a quick glance at Chris, I shook my head and pointed discreetly toward the restrooms, motioning for her to follow me there. “Where are you two going?” My aunt asked the moment we both stood from the table. “To the restroom… we’ll be right back.” I assured her.

I barely had time to cross the threshold into the restroom before her interrogation began “What’s wrong girl? You are not supposed to be looking this damn depressed on your birthday. Who did something because you know I won’t hesitate to kick they ass.” I snickered at the serious expression on her face and shook my head with a sigh “Dez… I’m stuck.” “What are you talking about? Stuck on what?” She asked, brows twisted with confusion. “Like I’m torn… between Trey and Chris.” “Oh Lord bae… what happened?” Before I knew it, I was spilling everything that’d happened earlier in the day to her. From the moment Chris pulled up to my house to the moment I read Trey’s card and everything that it said. It wasn’t until I stopped rambling to take a breath that I realized I could hardly inhale through my nose… I was crying for the second time today.

“Aw, love… it’s alright,” Destani spoke gently as she hugged me close and swept a hand over the curls atop my head, “I knew something like this was bound to happen. You got two different guys falling for you girl… you should be happy.” I drew my head back from her shoulder and hiccupped over my own hitched breath “Wh… why would I be… be happy Dez? I ca… I can’t be happy like this.” “Yes you can Sy… if you got both of these niggas noses wide open for you, do you know what that means?” I shook my head and stared at her as she pushed me back and gripped onto my shoulders to stare directly into my moist eyes, “This means you are an amazing girl! It’s not your fault that Trey approached you that night at the movie theater and fell for you. It’s certainly not your fault that you met Chris ten years ago and he’s been down for you ever since. You can’t change either one of those facts, but you can make the decision of what you want for you. This isn’t about Chris or Trey, it’s about you. So don’t let either of their actions or words break you… you just block that all out and decide who and what is right for Sy’Diyah.” I nodded as I took in every word she said and considered the choice that I knew I’d soon have to make...

--

After cleaning up my face and making myself look as presentable as possible, we exited the restroom and headed back to the table. The moment I slid back into place in the booth, several of the waiters and waitress’s flocked to the table with our waiter leading the way with a red velvet cupcake and bowl of ice cream in his hands. He presented me with the decadent treats and soon they all joined in on a loud rendition of the birthday song before finishing up with a round of applause and dispersing back to their sections of the restaurant.

“Aye Sy, I know you probably wondering how you gonna eat all that by yourself,” Rashad muttered as he gazed at the thick slice of cake, “Let me get like a little piece.” I laughed at his eagerness and nodded which seemed to be all the indication he needed to dive in. He, along with Dontay and Desean, who’d rushed from Tootie’s lap at the far end of the table, bombarded the sweet treat and I made sure to move out of the way so I wouldn’t get trampled. “Uncle C… you want some?” DeSean blurted.

Chris raised his gaze from his phone and peered at Desean then glanced from the ice cream to me “Nah lil man, I’m good.” I quickly shifted my gaze to my twiddling fingers and wondered exactly what was on his mind. I wondered if he felt even an ounce of remorse for what he’d done earlier. Did he even care at all about the awkward situation he helped to throw me head first into? Deciding not to dwell on the thought any longer, I turned my attention to the ensuing battle between the boys to see who could finish off my birthday treat quicker.

By the time we exited the restaurant, I could barely control my laugher as I watched Dontay and Rashad stumble out toward the parking lot. They’d finished off the ice cream so quick, they both managed to end up with brain freeze. Desean, who unfortunately suffered the same consequences, had managed to talk Chris into scooping him up and carrying him out to the parking lot while his mother stayed hot on their trail steadily scolding her son.

“Tootie leave that boy alone.” Ms. Joyce said as she walked along behind her daughter along with my aunt and Ms. Cynthia. “Ma, did you see all that ice cream he ate? He knows better than that.” Tootie glanced back at her mother before looking back at Desean, who’d wrapped his tiny arms around his uncle’s neck and shut his eyes as though he were asleep. “Yes I saw how much he ate and yes he should have known better, but he did it so let the result of his actions be his punishment. I used to tell your brother the same thing, you wanna do something that’s only gonna hurt you, then go right ahead… be my guest. It’ll hurt you more than it’ll hurt me. Then I'll hurt you when you feel better!” She spoke wisely and honestly, causing us all to laugh. I could recall several occasions when we were younger when Chris would hurt himself and she’d simply check to be sure he wasn’t too badly injured, then walk away as though it’d never even occurred. Her motto was always ‘I told your little hard-headed ass not to do that.’

Chris mumbled incoherently and Ms. Joyce swiftly reached out and popped him on the butt as he walked ahead of her, prompting everyone to cackle louder and Chris to frown "Dang ma, what I do?" Once we finally reached parking lot, we all bid our adieus and climbed into our separate vehicles. I climbed into the passenger seat of my aunt’s car and Destani got into the back after letting her mom know that she would be spending the night at my house. We chatted and joked all the way to the house and once we finally arrived, I was completely winded from laughing so hard at my aunt and Destani.

My aunt placed the car in park after pulling into the driveway and I wiped away a few stray tears as a result of all my laughter. “So, did you have a good birthday Sy?” My aunt asked after we’d all settled down. I nodded and stood on the porch beside Destani, waiting patiently as she unlocked the front door “Yes ma’am, I did… and I really appreciate all the gifts and the dinner.” Destani gazed at me and contorted her face into a fake weep “Ohhhhh Sy… I’m so glad you loved everything. I was so worried that you wouldn’t!” “Yes, like Destani said,” My aunt laughed, “I’m glad you liked everything… you deserved all of it.” She smiled warmly before turning and entering the house.

Destani and I headed upstairs after saying goodnight to my aunt, who ventured into her room to prepare for a night shift at the hospital. “Damn, I'm so tired and my feet hurt like hell.” Destani exclaimed as she plopped down on my bed and kicked her heels off. “Well, nobody told you to wear heels Dez.” I said, walking over to my dresser to retrieve my pajamas. “Shut up, I was tryna look cute for the occasion thank you very much. Let me get something to sleep in.” I plucked a spare tank and shorts pajama set for her and a matching set for me. She exited my room and headed down to the guest restroom to change, while I made my way into my own restroom to freshen up and slip on my pajama set.

I finished up a short while later and exited the bathroom after hearing the sound of a light knock on my bedroom door. Assuming it was Destani, I walked over to my closet to toss my clothes in the hamper without even bothering to let her in. “Come in.” I yelled. Turning to exit the closet, I parted my lips to speak and was immediately rendered speechless the moment I laid eyes on Chris. “Hey.” He muttered quietly as he stood there almost bashfully with his hands tucked into his pants pockets. “Hey.” I responded just as hushed as he.

Awkward was an understatement for how I felt standing before him. We both stared down at the floor like two timid children and I wanted nothing more than to turn around and jet back into the closet. The moment he opened his mouth to speak, the bedroom door flew open and in barged Destani “Sy, Aunt Maddie told me…” Her sentence quickly trailed off once she spotted Chris and they both locked eyes before she diverted her gaze to me and cleared her throat “Um… Aunt Maddie told me to tell you to lock up and she’ll see you in the morning.”

With a quick nod, I instantly returned my gaze to the floor… the tension in room was incredibly excruciating and nearly thick enough to suffocate in. “Well, I’m gonna head to bed now,” She spoke in a hushed tone as she cut her eyes over at Chris and smirked, “I guess I’ll see ya’ll in the morning.” His face remained blank as we both watched her exit the room, shutting the door quietly behind herself. Chris cleared his throat and with a sigh, he turned his gaze to me “So uh… how was your birthday?”

Finally gaining enough courage to even look in his direction, I glared at him as I moved toward my bed and pulled the blankets back in preparation to climb in “It was good… very good actually.” “Good.” He nodded and scratched at the back of his neck, evidently sensing every bit of the awkward tension that’d cascaded over the room. “Is that what you came here for?” I asked as I sat down at the edge of my bed. “No, um… nah that’s not what I came here for,” He cleared his throat once more and moistened his lips as he peered around my room, “Earlier… I wanted to talk about what happened earlier.” “What about what happened earlier?” I asked, peeping over at him curiously.

“Well, I mean I wanted to apologize.” “Okay…” The room grew silent, once again, and I discreetly rolled my eyes at the thought of just how annoying this entire scenario was. “That’s it?” He said, sounding faintly astonished. “Yes Chris, that’s it. What else do you expect me to say?” He blinked slowly and parted his lips as if he wanted to speak, only to close them a few seconds later and raise his brows with shock “Well I mean… I just thought you’d be upset.”

“How could I be upset? You kissed me, I kissed you back, and I didn’t make an effort to stop you.” I explained, though I knew I was completely full of anger and rage the moment the incident occurred earlier, “It happened and it’s over now. If I could go back and stop the kiss from happening I would, but I can’t so why sit here and dwell on it?” The look on his face was utterly priceless at that exact moment... his mouth hung open and his expression was that of complete surprise “You regret kissing me?” “Yes, I do,” I said without hesitation, “How would you feel if I forced you to kiss me in front of Daynah?” “What?” The astonishment on his face was instantly replaced by a deep scowl as he took a step toward me, “What the hell does she have to do with anything?”

“Nothing,” I rolled my eyes up toward the ceiling and shook my head, “Look, all I’m saying is, me kissing you in front of Trey wasn’t right and now I’m feeling like crap about it.” “Wait… are you serious right now?” He asked, glaring at me through squinted eyes. I stared right back at him and scoffed as I finally rose from my bed and walked around to stand directly in front of him with crossed arms “Yes, as a matter of fact, I am very serious.” His jaw was clinched tight and without warrant, he turned and plopped down on the edge of my bed “You bullshitting me right now, I know you are. How can you sit here, in my face, and blatantly tell me that you regret kissing me? What the fuck is up with you Hope?”

I sighed and tossed my hands up in the air “Nothing Chris, gosh. Is it so bad for me to regret a simple kiss?” “Yes it’s fucking bad… especially with all the other times I've kissed you and you’ve never once complained. I kiss you one time in front of that bitch ass nigga and now you freaking the fuck out?” “Shut up Chris!” I exclaimed, quickly becoming overwhelmed by his extremely accurate confrontation. I knew every harsh word flooding from his mouth was completely true, but hearing it out loud especially from him was more than I could bear. He was backing me into a corner by calling me out on my recent rapture with both him and Trey and I wasn’t sure how to handle it. “I don’t even claim you and you don’t claim me… we’re not exclusive,” I barked, “So maybe I do like him. Maybe I never did intend for him to watch me make out with another guy right in his face. Why should it matter to you?”

“Because Hope,” He started, pausing abruptly with a sigh then rolling his head back and staring up at the ceiling, “You know what, fuck it. I don’t even know why I came over here… I shoulda known this wasn’t gonna make shit better.” He stood up suddenly and stepped around me then began to walk toward my door. Swiftly, I whipped around and glowered at him “Where are you going?” He froze in his stride and slowly turned to face me “I’m leaving Sy’Diyah. I said what I had to say to you so now… I’m leaving.”

Rather than resuming his determined trek to the door as I assumed he would, he altered his path back to me and leaned in close so his lips were mere centimeters from my left ear “I’m leaving right now because I wanna kiss you so bad, but I can’t do that because I don’t claim you… right?” With that he pressed his lips just barely against my ear, turned swiftly, and departed from my room… leaving me there, dumbfounded and speechless.

[agl03]

So there's another Fitz x Aida kiss in 4x17 (shown in the promo). Any advice to fellow Fitzsimmons shippers who are about to lose their damn minds?

HI Anon!

I’m oddly chill on the matter, @agent-85 was with me after I saw the reveal and I was okay then too, even a bit excited.  Because its the epic love story we wanted.  And I’m pretty sure a few of you are ready to just toss me out the window on the matter but here we go.

Here’s the deal, we don’t get to have it both ways.  We don’t get a Fitzsimmons centered story arc that is all sunshine and roses.  Its TV, they have to tell a story.  You guys know me…I worry if something is coming too easy…IE Philinda earlier in the season.   And its nothing new that we’ve had to suffer to get our previous big moments.  

FZZT = Fitz’s feelings and Cheek Kiss

Skye getting shot = Tracks hug

Fall at the Hub = Reunion hug

Dear goodness the Pod = The Pod scene

Angst fest that was Season 2 = Hand hold, sandwich (so help me that had better show back up), Maybe there is, and Date plans

Maveth = Reunion in 2

Videos = Sunrise

Hogface = First kiss

Closure/Maveth = I can’t live in a world without you in it, come back to me, and Reunion Hugs

Starting over = Hand hold and kisses and EVENT HORIZON

So the more we suffer in the feels department typically the better the pay off.   Then we need to look at what is on the table here for us…Love Nest, fix it together (which I feel will happen as they come together for the first time in forever and properly Fitzsimmons a solution), and Engagement.  Those have been set up and if you look back they have paid everything they set up off.  Meaning the engagement is the endgame here. 

This arc is also a lot of what I predicted and many of us wanted (really this is all stuff I’ve been metaing for ages so since they are pulling all these I hope they noted the taking a step back from Shield and Marriage ones too).  

Fitznapping…yeap 

Fitznapped to be forced to build something for the baddie…check (well that is my theory and I’m sticking too it)

Long term Fitznapping…yeap again

Woman on Fire getting him back…look at our girl shooting Hydra agents and stealing cars!

Fitz’s back story….got some and might get some more!

Did it go down exactly as I thought, no, kudos to AIDA for really stepping it up a notch  here.  

AIDA recognized that the strongest relationship to Mimic was Fitzsimmons.  Its what true love looks like.  Because she could have done this with any of the other relationships on the table (Philinda, Mackelena, or Agcliffe).  To be clear I don’t like the Fitz/Aida stuff, they could have had Radcliffe be the baddie and teh possessive one of Fitz, but I see what they are doing with it.  Plus in the long run its going to eat less time than the angst surrounding hogface did.

On top of that her hold on him is SO thin, Fitzsimmons bond SO STRONG…that she had to completely REMOVE Jemma from his life and is trying to keep Fitz from even seeing her face.  And I’m still saying she’s gone well beyond fixing a regret with Fitz.  

We can appreciate that Lil and Iain are going to get to stretch their legs a little bit with both Leopold and Simmons.  Lil gets to be all sorts of Woman on Fire and I am looking forward to when she gets her hands on Radcliffe and AIDA.  While Iain gets to go evil for a little bit…yet he still slips in our Fitz.  We clearly see when our Fitz is breaking through…even better is when its about subversive Jemma.  As a fan I want to support them in whatever story they have…even if its not the one I would have personally chosen.  

And all this pain will give us one heck of a reunion.  Hopefully one in the Framework and one in real life (after they scare the living Hades out of us with Fitz crashing or something as they try to pull him out).  

I remember vividly the asks I got in the A Arc as many were upset that Fitzsimmons didn’t have much of a story on top of little screen time.  Well now that is being corrected.  They are central to the story and will have a fair amount of screen time (just not together for a bit).  The mysteries with what happened to Fitzsimmons Framework selves and getting Fitz back will prove key to getting out of the Framework and they are going to need Fitz to help stop AIDA and whatever she is having Framework Fitz help her build.  

Finally in watching Lil and Iain’s Wondercon interviews.  Iain makes it clear that Fitz and Framework Fitz are two completely different people.  He played two characters.   Even more so that for real Fitz (who is still in there buried under what AIDA did) its all about Jemma, the relationship with AIDA is Framework Fitz…Fitz isn’t going to wake up and be torn between the two.  We’ll see AIDA’s hold start to slip as soon as Fitz starts to remember.  Which is why it might take the longest for him to do so.   Also Iain and Lil were happy in the Wondercon Interviews.  Lil is one that you can typically tell when she doesn’t like where a story goes.   Both of them were all smiles, Iain shut down post framework AIDA anything right away (and emphasized it was who he was in the Framework that he is VERY different), I feel that Lil even had to stop him a few times when he might have gotten too spoilery.  

My plan to get through any future kisses include my good friends Ben & Jerry.

I know this doesn’t take the ick factor out of it and I know what I say can’t convince anyone to keep watching or be okay with this arc.  But this is where I am with it and how I am dealing with it.  I know the pain will be worth the pay off and for now all we can do is buckle up and hang on tight!